"And here is the key thing—it thrills me to see it. I love seeing it. I love knowing. The knowing is its own reward. The ability to frame the question is it’s own gift—even if you can’t quite name the answer." Ta-Nehisi Coates
I’m not gon’ lie, grad school broke my spirit but this is why I persevere. I have always loved seeing and knowing. It’s a thrill that I have embarked upon with wealth of journey partners (teachers/peers/colleagues/students) from Seattle to the halls of Spelman to this city’s urine soaked Subway platforms to, well where I now teach, dissertate and engage in self-loathing.
I’ve had a draft of a chapter I intended to send to my advisors that I haven’t been able to let go of for two months in part because this degree has become removed from the thrill. It’s just fear and insecurity. But as the songwriter said, “it’s good to know…” that this is why I chose this path, that thought the thrill is gone, it can be recovered, and that soooooo much will ever exceed my knowledge.
Jalylah, don’t give up! The world needs your great ideas - out of your brain, into the public sphere, like superman Ta-Nehisi!